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How Raising a child groomed me professionally

By Sanju Adhikari
My personal experience was also quite interesting and definitely chaotic in both personal as well as professional life. Being finance acumen, work seat was always hot and painful so there were no exceptions for pregnancy time frame. Chapter of health, emotions and love was delightful, but the professional chapter was something like kaizen.

Motherhood is a marvelous experience which is extremely challenging and resilient .It is a true miracle to have your heart beating both inside and outside your body. Though most of the points are well explained and substantiated by the theories of biology and genetics, the real magic of motherhood stuffs are precious gifts from heaven. From the moment baby is conceived and starts pulsating in womb, every color of life starts shining and it continues for rest of life….
Every motherhood experience is unique, every mother’s journey has different roads and every page of each stories are divergent (non-convergent) .But the strength of infrangible bond shared is equally forceful in each case.
My personal experience was also quite interesting and definitely chaotic in both personal as well as professional life. Being finance acumen, work seat was always hot and painful so there were no exceptions for pregnancy time frame. Chapter of health, emotions and love was delightful, but the professional chapter was something like kaizen.
Our baby was conceived immediately after Nepal Earth Quake 2015, so we went through all the possible difficulties in daily routine. The fear of possible loss, pain of devastating bereavements, and feeling content for the saved lives and hope for standing strong were flowing in the veins at same bloodstream. Country welcomed new Constitution with great hope but celebration could not be felt freely due to economic blockade of 5-6 months.
In those 39 weeks of pregnancy, mother’s mind was working extra hard for better health, peaceful mind, spirituality and well-being so all focus was on healthy diets, good exercise, routine checkups, instrumental music, articles in babycenter.com, pregnancy apps etc etc. In other side, the brain of Fellow Chartered Accountant was working overtime for all those micro and macroeconomic issues. Fuel shortage, massive price hike in essentials, traveling difficulties, Nepal’s Economic crisis etc were hitting my brain CPU every second. Every questions of What? Why? What next? How to? etc were questioned again and again every day.
In a roller-coaster ride of pregnancy and motherhood, l touched various colors of life. With god grace in month of May, we were blessed with a healthy angel in normal delivery. I was recovered really soon so I rejoined my work after maternity leave. Since the baby was bottle fed, I continued my work without lactation break. With valuable support from my family, I could focus on work with all my heart and soul.
Things went well for both in family and work. Being finance person, the work seat was always in high temperature and my mind was always in a pressure cooker mode:: ready to burst!! Few hours in morning and evening were for babies, balance time was for financials and numbers. In Nepal we don’t have flexible working hours, so our baby was to be raised in hands of her grandma and baby sitter. Both I and my husband were working six days a week, 9 am to 6 pm so we hardly got time for her.
By the time baby grows well and started teething, crawling and walking, then it invited difficulties for work life balance. She was the most precious part of our life, so we couldn’t be dependent to others for her best care. She is our baby, so it was our responsibility to give her maximum love and care. So I took big decision and left the job. When I started raising her on my own, I got to feel other parts of life. I started taking things very differently. My life got a new direction, new way of living, a new meaning of happiness and peace.
Meanwhile, I learnt many personal stuffs, at same time I got to reemphasize on various management skills. Some of those lessons are as follows:
· Patience
· Dedication is reason of hard work
· Timely decision and strategic move
· Stress Management
· Anger Management
· Time management
· Life and living
I. Patience
The word patience means the willingness to stay where we are and live the situation out to the full in the belief that something hidden there will manifest itself to us. The two hardest tests on the life road are the patience to wait for the right moment and the courage not to be disappointed with what we encounter. Having a nuclear family, there was no question of getting a single support from in-laws during my pregnancy phase. Every day was like a roller coaster ride, but I build up the self-control mechanism and moved forward. My husband is the true blessing in my life that helped me every way possible and kept me comfortable throughout journey. Even after having a first baby, there was no one to guide, no one to take care, and no one to love immensely. My mother visited us in that critical time who proved to be an angel for us.
After birth, till now motherhood taught me to learn slowly, act timely and have patience. There were many times, baby refused to take milk, many times she refused to sleep in night, many times she just refused to calm down. In all those period, I had no choice than waiting for her hints and feed her, make her sleep. When she got her first pair of teeth, we had sleepless nights rocking her, many failed attempts to feed her, countless pooping and vomiting. When she started crawling and walking, we let her to explore but her fall downs were heart breaking. She started walking at around 12.5 months, at that time I was completely with her. After leaving job, she was my prime focus so was with her every step. In those steps of protecting her from falls, stopping her to walk down big stairs, following her every single minute were big challenges in one side, extreme hard effort to feed her properly, to sing for hours to make her sleep, to repeat every words she learns many times, everything is possible only because of patience level I was gifted automatically from motherhood.
By this experience I learnt that patience came to me in my motherhood because I had no choice. Because I knew that baby is innocent and learning to adjust as well. So this phase turned an impulsive CA to a calm person.
This motherhood taught that everything is possible if we have patience. Patience is conquering virtue and there is no advantage of hurrying through life. Waiting and hoping is hard thing but the fruit is tastier.
II. Work what you love
In parenting, you never feel like working because everything is done with love. No matter how many failed attempts to feed, to teach her new words, to toilet training; everything is done with heart and soul till final success. Same way in professional life also, if one choose the work he/she loves, there is not a single day inefficient. Work became the favorite thing to do and success will chase automatically.
III. Dedication is reason for hard work
In the initial month of baby birth, baby needs feeding every two hour. Since I was not lucky enough for exclusive breastfeeding, formula milk was to be fed regularly. In Nepal, we couldn’t get bottled ready to use formula milk, so we had to boil waters, sterilize bottles, prepare milk, cool down milk and feed her. In those sleepless nights also, we woke up immediately in her cries and make ourselves ready to take care of her. After delivery, I was not recovered well for a month but for baby, I was ready to do everything. In growing months also, many things were sacrificed because baby deserves best of us. In her every mischief , we smiles and let her learn .Whenever she wish to play late night, we did everything for her by ignoring that the tough working day begins just next morning.
We worked like machines, all because of our love and dedication. In professional life also, if we dedicate ourselves for something we really want, the madness come there magically which definitely lead towards brighter rays. Passion is what gives meaning to our lives. It’s what allows us to achieve success beyond our wildest imagination. Try to find a career path that you have a passion for
IV. Budget and Finance
When a family welcomes a baby, there comes a long list of expenses. Furnishing baby room with suitable furniture, baby proofing the house needs good capital expenditure whereas the cost of good formula milk, diapers, baby products etc is also very high. So planning a baby and raising needs good calculation and proper budgeting.
In work also, every move is to be taken with due concern to financial matters. Budgetary control practice is very much useful for smooth operation and growth.
V. Timely decision making and strategic move
In parenthood, we got advice from many people around us. There were troubles in feeding, in teething, in skin allergies, common colds, fever in every immunizations and every milestone of baby’s development. The decision to be taken wisely so that baby not suffers from the decision. Timing of immunization, selection of baby sitter, introductions of baby foods, choice of diapers and rash creams , choice of solid foods , choice of right pediatrician etc are to be done with highest care.

Same way in career, our decision making shall be balanced. Every meeting with partners, relations with employees, financing with bankers, growth with markets are to be framed strategically. The future is made up of the blocks of decisions we made today.
In the same time, motherhood train to manage maximum stress, tightly schedule and anger over many things. Whenever the baby doesn’t feel well, our sense stops working and we behave insane. So in that critical time; managing time and life are very stressful. When I raised my child on my own, I learn to manage time effectively, calm down anger as much as possible and manage stress by segregating some “Me time “for myself.
Meanwhile the definition of life changed in this journey. My freaky youth changed into responsible motherhood. My “Me” definition changed into “We”. My frequency of partying and drinking decreased radically. Hangouts with friends changed to shopping baby products. Slumber party disappeared. My brain got a focus area and I started living the life of kid again. Raising my child, I got learn the value of life. I got to learn how precious and beautiful this life is. I got to feel how much love a human heart can hold. I started to respect my parents like never before. I started respecting my mother in law also and possibly all mothers around the world.
My career was paused for some years, but life got a new meaning. My professional career also got a new direction, new areas to explore. Again I started reading laws of Nepal, new directives, new provisions of tax. I started feeling that touch of life, that feeling of love, that special sense of satisfaction, that peace within and that depth of spirituality. Motherhood is indeed an unbelievable school that teaches us many factors of life (as well as of work). Life is beautiful and parenthood adds amazing fragrance to it.

(Author Miss Sanju Adhikari is a Chartered Accountant holding more than 10 years of experience in various corporate sectors like manufacturing,real estate, hydro power , constructions and financial services etc . She is a financial consultant, author and poet at present days.")

Published Date: Saturday, January 25th, 2020 | 06:46 PM

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